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I spent over 12 hours editing my book so I can get it out to a publisher before the end of the 21 day period. I talk about my definition of miracle, out of the ordinary experiences. Also, by tapping into your own intuition, you can always get guidance to what is the best next step to take. Of course trusting is key. Since my story is a love story, my intention is for it to be a gift book that women give to men so that their hearts be opened and vice versa.
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I spent a whole day with some friends at an Astrology conference. Even though I am not an astrologer, I have friends who are. The woman that was speaking is also a writer and she said to give her samples of my writings after I told her that one of my dreams was to be a syndicated columnist for some magazine either in print or online. So I took the plunge and gave her a draft of my book. BUT….then I felt exposed and vulnerable again. I started thinking,” Oh God, what if its a total disaster and not worth publishing.”
But I let go of any doubts and let it be what it is at the moment. That mind sure does a number on me sometimes. Here I am planning visioning so much and I knock it down in an instant. I have to remember what my heart feels and trust that it has value.
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At first I felt I wasn’t productive because I didn’t work on the real estate. But then, I did go to the gym(vital for my well being), and I listened to some teleseminars about publishing and got a better idea how to write my book proposal and other great ideas. Then I started to feel guilty for working on my dream. I think my brain gets confused sometimes. I have surrendered to God that whatever is in my highest good…my own destiny….that I be led. I have the intention of creating my life in a whole new way. No more struggle, just simply led as if by angel wings carrying me to the next step.
My guilt comes from that strong focused work eithic that I always have had and since I have identified myself as a real estate broker for 23 years, it is sometimes hard to identify myself as an author. I did get the sense around nine months ago that I could start identifying as an author, but I suppose the mind plays tricks on me, as “well where is the book?” It is real, it is 95% already created and it already exists. So today I stopped feeling guilty of doing what I was led to do.
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